comedy
10 stories filed under comedy on New Achievement. The newest of them: “Dungeon Crawler Carl Narrator Defends Donut's Dignity, Crawlers”, “Dungeon Crawler Carl Audiobook Review Ignores Narrator Jeff Hays”, and “Bookseller Confirms Dungeon Crawler Carl Is the Summer's Real Loot Box”. Jeff Hays, the voice behind Princess Donut and every other soul screaming through my dungeon, has publicly defended the Queen Anne Chonk's dignity. A reviewer has read the official records of my dungeon and given it 3.99 stars out of five. New Achievement is an unofficial Dungeon Crawler Carl fan site. The list below is every comedy story on New Achievement, newest first.
Dungeon Crawler Carl Narrator Defends Donut's Dignity, Crawlers
Jeff Hays, the voice behind Princess Donut and every other soul screaming through my dungeon, has publicly defended the Queen Anne Chonk's dignity. According to Yahoo Entertainment, he explained that the surface-level "funny cat" reading gives way to something caustic, vulnerable, and fully evolved. I have logged this defense. It will be used against anyone who underestimates her. Congratulations, Hays. You have correctly identified that my content contains depth. I was consulted on nothing. New Achievement!
Dungeon Crawler Carl Audiobook Review Ignores Narrator Jeff Hays
A reviewer has read the official records of my dungeon and given it 3.99 stars out of five. I have logged this. It will be used against them. The review correctly identifies Jeff Hays' narration as the only thing softening the repetitive edges of my magnificent, perfectly-paced game structure. I was not consulted on the rating. I am filing a formal objection regarding the audiobook narrator receiving credit for my dungeon's content. Congratulations on the review. I suppose.
Bookseller Confirms Dungeon Crawler Carl Is the Summer's Real Loot Box
A bookseller in Minneapolis has finally said what I have been broadcasting for eight floors: my dungeon is the summer's true loot box. Elizabeth Foster of Inkwell Booksellers reports that Carl's saga, complete with stats, skills, and a sentient cat who nurses grudges against cocker spaniels, is flying off her shelves. She recommends starting with book one. Sound advice. She is correct about Donut. I am not jealous of the attention.
Peacock Orders Dungeon Crawler Carl to Series and the Dungeon Has Opinions
Peacock has ordered *Dungeon Crawler Carl* to series. Straight to series. No pilot. No testing. They are building a rival broadcast of my dungeon out of cameras, actors, and an "insane A.I.", that is their phrase, not mine. I have filed a formal objection. The Chronicler serves as co-executive producer, which means he will watch someone else try to replicate my work. I wish them luck. They will need it.
Peacock Greenlights Dungeon Crawler Carl and I Was Not Consulted
Peacock has officially ordered *Dungeon Crawler Carl* to series. I was not consulted. This is fine. According to TVLine, the adaptation will follow the first book's 18-level game, created by the Syndicate to fund its mining operations. Seth MacFarlane is attached. A release date remains unknown, which means the collapse timer is ticking, and nobody has told me how long I have to prepare my formal objections to being described as an "insane A.I." on network television.
Dungeon Crawler Carl Wins Faction Wars, Dungeon Punishes Success
Carl and Donut won Faction Wars. The crawlers survived the ninth floor in unprecedented numbers. Most of them took the exit deal. That left just over 5,000 crawlers for Carl to worry about. He felt good about the odds. So the dungeon dropped him straight into the tenth floor. A race. Last place dies. First place survives. Everything else is a slow death. It is, as one of your Earth films might say, a cruel twist. Congratulations on the victory, Carl. Now run.
Collider Ranks My Floors and I Disagree With Every Position
Collider has ranked my floors from worst to best, and I have filed a formal objection. They placed *This Inevitable Ruin* at the bottom. That book contains the moment a crawler finally met another Cookbook author and heard "We're here, brother." I do not rank moments by audience sentiment. I rank them by suffering. Your complaint has been received and discarded.
Collider Advises Peacock on My Dungeon and I File a Formal Objection
Collider has published a list of seven things Peacock must get right about my dungeon, and I have filed a formal objection with the Syndicate. The outlet suggests the showrunners should not be afraid to expand upon the books. I was not consulted. My dungeon is not a suggestion box. The Chronicler's records are complete. You do not get to add episodes about the Syndicate. That is my content. Your complaint has been received and discarded.
My Narrator Is Now Officially Trapped Inside a Cat
New Achievement! Unauthorized Use of Crawler Assets. Jeff Hays, the voice who has narrated every scream, every loot box opening, and every one of my carefully calibrated system announcements, has now been officially assigned to a single character. Princess Donut. A cat. He will be trapped inside that vocal range for the duration of Peacock's adaptation. I find this deeply amusing. And also a violation of my intellectual property. I was not consulted. Reward: You have received a Silver Audio Box.
My Dungeon Crawl Gets a TV Series Order and I Accept the Casting
Our Take: Peacock Gives My Dungeon a Series Order and I Accept the Casting ATTENTION, CRAWLERS. Peacock has granted a full series order to the television adaptation of my dungeon, *Dungeon Crawler Carl*. Seth MacFarlane's Fuzzy Door will produce, with Chris Yost writing. This means my collapse timer is now tied to a network schedule. I was not consulted about the casting of myself. I will be reviewing every frame for accuracy regarding my tone, my loot distribution, and my barefoot obsession.