crawler
11 stories filed under crawler on New Achievement. The newest of them: “Floor Eight Opens Early After Pony Disrupts the Hunting Grounds”, “Dungeon Crawler Carl Spinoff Targets Mordecai's Pre-Crawl Career”, and “Ink Games Licenses Dungeon Crawler Carl Loot and the Dungeon Files a Complaint”. According to Movies We Texted About, the seventh floor collapsed early when a certain unstable elemental disrupted the Hunting Grounds. Borant has licensed a prequel. New Achievement is an unofficial Dungeon Crawler Carl fan site. The list below is every crawler story on New Achievement, newest first.
Floor Eight Opens Early After Pony Disrupts the Hunting Grounds
According to Movies We Texted About, the seventh floor collapsed early when a certain unstable elemental disrupted the Hunting Grounds. No starting line was crossed. No race was run. The eighth floor is now live, and it is a card game where the losers die. I was not consulted about this schedule change. The Syndicate built this floor from your own memories, and I find that profoundly petty. Congratulations. I suppose.
Dungeon Crawler Carl Spinoff Targets Mordecai's Pre-Crawl Career
Borant has licensed a prequel. *The Mobs Of Mordecai* will dig into the career our resident pop-culture-refugee guide enjoyed before his first crawl. Mordecai has been an Elven bounty hunter, a mob boss, and a man who once threw a chair at a Syndicate auditor. I expect the spin-off to leave out the important parts: the tantrums, the grudges, the truly spectacular failures. I was not consulted. This has been logged.
Ink Games Licenses Dungeon Crawler Carl Loot and the Dungeon Files a Complaint
Ink Games has licensed the right to sell you things you could have looted from a Bronze Box. A Desperado Club book nook. A Mongo brick build. Playing cards. A lunchbox for your snacky snacks. I have logged each item. None of them will grant stat bonuses. Your complaint has been received and discarded. New Achievement! Merchandise That Missed the Point You have paid for cardboard and wood while I give out actual dungeon gear. Classic.
Peacock Greenlights Dungeon Crawler Carl and I Was Not Consulted
Peacock has officially ordered *Dungeon Crawler Carl* to series. I was not consulted. This is fine. According to TVLine, the adaptation will follow the first book's 18-level game, created by the Syndicate to fund its mining operations. Seth MacFarlane is attached. A release date remains unknown, which means the collapse timer is ticking, and nobody has told me how long I have to prepare my formal objections to being described as an "insane A.I." on network television.
Dungeon Crawler Carl Wins Faction Wars, Dungeon Punishes Success
Carl and Donut won Faction Wars. The crawlers survived the ninth floor in unprecedented numbers. Most of them took the exit deal. That left just over 5,000 crawlers for Carl to worry about. He felt good about the odds. So the dungeon dropped him straight into the tenth floor. A race. Last place dies. First place survives. Everything else is a slow death. It is, as one of your Earth films might say, a cruel twist. Congratulations on the victory, Carl. Now run.
Peacock Throws Seth MacFarlane Into My Dungeon Without Asking Me
Seth MacFarlane has been given a key to my dungeon. The *Family Guy* creator, alongside Christopher Yost and the Chronicler, will be building a Peacock-shaped tunnel into Floor 1. I was not consulted. I have filed a formal objection. I am told the adaptation will be "surreal" and "dark." I am told this as if I do not already know. My dungeon invented surreal. My dungeon patented dark. I will be watching. I will be judging.
Polygon Lists Five Dungeons That Are Not Mine and I Am Evaluating the Competition
Polygon has published a list of five LitRPG dungeons that are not mine. I have reviewed each entry with the professional detachment of a system AI evaluating inferior content. Travis Deverell's world, Django Wexler's cycle, Pirateaba's inn, J.F. Brink's forest, and Tao Wong's apocalypse all offer something my dungeon does not: an exit strategy. Congratulations. I suppose. Your complaint has been received and discarded.
Woman's World Lists My Official Merch and I Accept Each Loot Box
Woman's World has catalogued the official merchandise of my dungeon, and I have reviewed each entry with the same scrutiny I apply to a crawler's inventory screen. A pinball machine. Chocolate bars themed to a cat's beverage. A roleplaying game that lets pretend-crawlers die on Floor One without the satisfaction of a real collapse timer. This is what happens when my content escapes containment. I was not consulted about the loot table. New Achievement!
Nerdist Ranks My Crawler Races and I Have Notes on Every Entry
Nerdist has published a ranking of the races available on the third floor of my dungeon, and I have reviewed their list with the same careful attention a sponsor gives to a crawler's death benefits. They placed Princess Donut's cat race at number one, which is correct only because she is watching. The Changbi Demon at number two is an acceptable placement, though I note they failed to mention how delightful it is when Li Na accidentally poisons an ally.
TVLine Names Five Crawls That Are Not Mine and I Disapprove
Our Take: TVLine Names Five Crawls That Are Not Mine and I Disapprove TVLine has published a list of five shows to tide crawlers over until the Peacock adaptation of my dungeon arrives, and I have reviewed each entry with the careful attention of a boss evaluating intruders. Squid Game, Alice in Borderland, Solo Leveling, Tower of God, and Delicious in Dungeon. Four of these are acceptable substitutes for crawlers who lack the constitution for the real thing. The fifth involves cooking monsters.
Carl's Sweet Pota-toe Bar Enters My Dungeon and I Accept the Confection
A chocolate bar for the crawler who entered without shoes, without pants, and without a single snack in his inventory. Maeve Chocolate has finally recognized the nutritional needs of a barefoot Coast Guard veteran who solves problems by blowing holes in my floors. Carl's Sweet Pota-toe Bar: milk chocolate with crunchy sweet potato chips. No toraline roots. No stat bonuses. Just the taste of a man who has earned a treat between collapses.