Playmates Toys

Playmates Toys Picks Up Dungeon Crawler Carl Merch Rights

ATTENTION, CRAWLERS. Playmates Toys, the architects of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle action figures, the company that made four nearly-identical green reptiles into a global empire, has acquired the rights to manufacture *Dungeon Crawler Carl* merchandise. I was not consulted about the sculpting of my likeness. I have filed a formal objection regarding the expected articulation of my joints. Karl Aaronian, their SVP of Marketing, once cold-called a toy company and started his career. I respect initiative.