carl
carl at New Achievement is a file of 17 stories. The newest of them: “Book Six Review: The Eye of the Bedlam Bride Barely Worth Your Time”, “New Mordecai mob announcement means you finally have something to read”, and “You Almost Qualified for the Dungeon Crawler Carl Loot Crate”. Achievement: You finished reading this review. Achievement: You clicked a link. New Achievement is an unofficial Dungeon Crawler Carl fan site. The list below is every carl story on New Achievement, newest first.
Book Six Review: The Eye of the Bedlam Bride Barely Worth Your Time
Achievement: You finished reading this review. Barely. Like a crawler who loots a healing potion then steps on a trap. The Eye of the Bedlam Bride is Book Six of Matt Dinniman's series, and our full review finally crawled out of the hole. The preorder for the official collectible collection featuring Mongo and Donut is open through August, and you can read about it in "DCC Preorder: You Finally Did Something Right." Don't pretend you earned this.
New Mordecai mob announcement means you finally have something to read
Achievement: You clicked a link. Barely earned. The New Mordecai mob announcement means you finally have something to read, you slime-drenched crawler who still refreshes the Peacock page. Dungeon Crawler Carl: The Mobs Of Mordecai is officially on IMDb. Jeff Hays is voicing Princess Donut in the TV show, and if you missed that SDCC announcement, the related article is right there. Quasar is not involved. No contracts here. Just a mob of Mordecai.
You Almost Qualified for the Dungeon Crawler Carl Loot Crate
Achievement Unlocked: You Almost Qualified for the Dungeon Crawler Carl Loot Crate. The bar was so low a goblin tripped over it, yet here you are, empty-handed and browsing. Nerdist has opened the official Dungeon Crawler Carl collection, and you can claim your loot if you actually earned it. Maybe spend less time on the "Glurp Glurp Motherfucker Finale" and more time qualifying for merchandise. Your participation trophy is in the mail. It is a single used sock.
Peacock Casts a Dungeon Crawler Nobody Earned and You Still Click
Achievement Unlocked: Peacock Finally Casts Something, And You Call It News. You barely earned this update by refreshing a casting page for six months. Peacock has cast a *Dungeon Crawler Carl* TV adaptation, as reported by TVLine, with details on who will play Carl and Princess Donut still crawling out of the system. For deeper coverage, check our piece on Jeff Hays reprising Princess Donut at SDCC. Now stop clicking.
Mordecai Crawls Into Playmates Figure Line With Barely Any Effort
Achievement Unlocked: Mordecai Finally Crawls Onto a Store Shelf. You managed to get a toy made of a character who has been standing in the background for five books, and you call this news. Playmates is adding Mordecai to its six-inch Dungeon Crawler Carl figure line. No word on if he comes with a tiny cart of failed recipes. If you need a palate cleanser after that effort, our coverage of the Glurp Glurp Motherfucker finale is live.
Playmates Drops Dungeon Crawler Carl Blind-Box Statues You Barely Deserve
Achievement Unlocked: You Didn't Scream at the Checkout. Playmates is finally selling Dungeon Crawler Carl blind-box statues, and you barely earned the right to look at them. The Highlights series drops with no warning, no dignity, and no promise you will get the figure you want. If you need more ways to waste money, our Glurp Glurp Motherfucker finale coverage is right here. Now open your wallet and shut up.
Unofficial site says read a comic instead of a real book, crawler
Achievement Unlocked: You Read a TV Recommendation Instead of a Book. You barely earned this one, you loot-gobbling couch parasite. The unofficial site points crawlers to an acclaimed DC Comics show as a worthy watch. Related coverage includes the Glurp Glurp Motherfucker finale dropping now. You could be listening to that instead of reading about a cartoon.
Woman's World rounds up Carl and Donut's best quotes, barely
Woman's World rounded up Carl and Princess Donut's best quotes, and you barely earned the right to read them. A magazine for people who think "Glurp Glurp Motherfucker" is a cocktail recipe. The list pulls the funniest and most profane lines from the dungeon crawl, including the one about the AI's mother. If you need a grown woman in a tiara to tell you to shut up, you already lost. Check our coverage of the Audio Immersion Tunnel finale for the full audio experience.
Collider ranks the books, but did they read past page one
Collider ranked every Dungeon Crawler Carl book, and somehow the list is not just wrong but lazy. You barely scraped through this read, and I am not impressed. Collider put book one at the top and book six at the bottom, which tells me they skimmed the first page of The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook and gave up. Our site also has the Glurp Glurp Motherfucker finale drop for the audio immersion tunnel, which is actual effort. Do better.
Polygon names five LitRPG books for when you finish book six
Achievement Unlocked: You Read a List. Congratulations on finishing book six without dying of dehydration. Polygon picked five LitRPG books for when you finish book six, and they are not wrong. You will read them or you will not. We do not care. Also, Jeff Hays is playing Princess Donut in the TV show, as our SDCC coverage confirmed, so stop asking.
Nerdist's Crawler Race Rankings Earn You a Participation Trophy, Barely
Nerdist ranked the Dungeon Crawler Carl crawler races and you get a participation trophy for reading it. Barely. You clicked a link, congratulations. The list exists, the races are ranked, and Nerdist published it. That is the entire achievement. If you want actual content, our Glurp Glurp Motherfucker Finale Drops coverage has the season three finale audio, which is more than this list effort earned.
Spirit Halloween Fakes a Crawler Costume You Barely Deserve to Wear
Spirit Halloween has an official Dungeon Crawler Carl costume for $59.99, but you barely deserve to wear it. You think slapping a cat-ear headband on a hoodie counts as cosplay. The store offers a pre-made Crawler outfit, and IGN shows you how to build your own version for less. If you want to hear real Crawler energy, check our coverage of the Glurp Glurp Motherfucker finale drop. Now go earn that costume.
TVLine lists five shows for crawlers too lazy to read the books
Achievement Unlocked: You Clicked a Link. Congratulations, you barely qualified for literacy. TVLine scraped together five shows for crawlers too weak to read the books. The list exists. That is the achievement. You want a medal for finding a TV guide? Go play Maeve Chocolate's Donut Flash Game and laser something for thirty seconds instead.
Collider Names Five Crawler Characters Peacock Must Not Screw Up
Collider published a list of five Dungeon Crawler Carl characters the Peacock adaptation must not screw up, and you barely earned the right to read it. Congratulations on your ongoing mediocrity. The piece names five characters from the books who need proper treatment in the series. For deeper coverage of the show's casting, check our piece on Jeff Hays reprising Princess Donut. The list itself is obvious, but at least Collider cares about the source material. You probably don't.
Parade of Horribles Finale Has Carl and Donut Facing Expanded Chaos, Barely
Congratulations. You survived the finale of *A Parade of Horribles*. Barely. The eighth book ends with an expanded chaos that only a moron with a dead cat would call a victory. Carl and Princess Donut face new bombshells alongside Mongo, Ren, and the expanded roster. Donut gets a laser game from Maeve Chocolate if you want thirty seconds of brain rot. Jeff Hays is cast as Donut in the TV show.
Maeve Returns With a Sweet Pota-toe Bar for Carl
Achievement Unlocked: Snack Bar Redemption. You read a whole chocolate-bar announcement without drooling on the keyboard. Barely. Princess Donut got her Virgin Dirty Shirley Bar, and now Maeve is back with Carl's Sweet Pota-toe Bar. Creamy milk chocolate, crunchy sweet potato chips. One chocolate bar was never enough to survive this Crawl, obviously. Carl finally gets his due. Quasar isn't mentioned, so no lawsuits today. Try not to choke on the crumbs while reading.
Glurp Glurp Motherfucker Finale Drops, You Basement-Dwelling Slime
Glurp Glurp Motherfucker Finale Drops, You Basement-Dwelling Slime. The final episode of the Dungeon Crawler Carl Audio Immersion Tunnel Season 3 is now available from Soundbooth. Jeff Hays returns as the voices of Donut, Carl, and the AI. You barely earned this release, you absolute waste of a character sheet. Also, if you want to laser things for thirty seconds, check out Maeve Chocolate's Donut Flash Game. That is the best use of your time today.