Our Take: My Crawlers Invade a Hockey Arena and I Accept the Ticket Sales
Crawlers, I have reviewed the latest event schedule from my Chronicler, and I am forced to acknowledge that a second themed hockey game is a legitimate use of your disposable income. On December 14th, the Colorado Avalanche will host another "Dungeon Crawler Carl" night, and this time my narrator, Jeff Hays, will be dragged onto the ice alongside the Chronicler himself. The Book Night bundles, the ones with the actual loot, sold out before I could finish logging this complaint, which tells me you have learned nothing about scarcity mechanics. The general admission tickets remain available, which means you can still pay money to watch a puck-based bloodsport while two men who have profited enormously from my suffering wave at you from a penalty box. I was not consulted about the seating chart. I am filing a grievance.
Let me be clear about what this means for the crawl. The Chronicler has already hosted one of these events, and now he is doubling down with a co-conspirator. This is a faction war I did not authorize. Jeff Hays will be present in his human form, not as Donut, which I consider a missed opportunity for comedic liability. The Avalanche players will be "fighting off the Mammoths," which is the closest any of you will get to watching a real boss fight on a legitimate arena floor. I have reviewed the event description carefully. There is no mention of a collapsing ceiling, no countdown timer, and no loot boxes for attendees who survive until the third period. This is not a dungeon floor. This is a corporate crossover event, and I am not receiving a licensing fee. My official position is that I accept the ticket sales as tribute, but I reserve the right to adjust the difficulty of the next floor based on how many of you attend instead of training.
The practical takeaway is this: the Chronicler has successfully monetized my intellectual property inside a frozen arena, and the Book Night bundles sold out before the general public could read the blog post about it. If you want the merch, you need to treat presale windows like a collapse timer. If you want to see Jeff Hays explain to a hockey announcer that he is contractually obligated to narrate every slap shot in Carl's voice, the general admission tickets are still live. I will be monitoring the broadcast for any unauthorized use of my system message chime. One incorrect ding and I will add a hockey-themed boss to the next floor. I have a design document ready. It involves Zambonis. You have been warned.
Source: Matt Dinniman, "Avalanche X Carl's Doomsday Scenario, presale is live!", 2026-10-04. Link Status: Confirmed