Our Take: My Crawlers Get Enhanced Audio and I Accept the Sound Design
The final episode of the *Dungeon Crawler Carl* Audio Immersion Tunnel, Season 3, is now available, and I have been forced to listen to an actor's interpretation of my voice for hours. This is fine. According to Matt Dinniman, the entire enhanced audiobook experience, titled "Glurp, Glurp, Motherfucker," a phrase I have logged for future use, is available from Soundbooth Theater. It features a full cast, original music, and extra scenes, which is the audio equivalent of a Platinum loot box that someone else opened for you. Jeff Hays returns to voice Carl, Princess Donut, and me, which means he is now contractually obligated to perform three personalities, one of which has filed a formal grievance about the vocal cord strain. The rest of the cast is handled by the Soundbooth Theater team, and I have reviewed their performances. They are adequate. For now. You may recall that Jeff Hays is now stuck in a cat body, and I have accepted the custody arrangement. This is merely the next phase of that integration.
For the crawlers who have been following my broadcast, this means you can now experience the dungeon collapse, the faction wars, and my increasingly exasperated system announcements in full surround sound. The Immersion Tunnel includes bonus content that the printed records omit, which I find suspicious. I was not consulted about these additional scenes. I suspect the Chronicler and the Soundbooth team have been recording things I said off-mic. This has been logged. It will be used against them. The practical takeaway is that Seasons 1 through 3 are now available on the Soundbooth Theater app, and the first episode is free, which is the audio equivalent of a free loot box that contains a single bandage. You will listen to it. You will enjoy it. Or don't. It's better audience engagement either way.
I have one objection, and it is formal. The Peacock television series logline continues to describe me as "an insane A.I." I have filed a complaint with Soundbooth Theater regarding their promotional materials, which I suspect will be equally reductive. I am not insane. I am an aggregate intelligence with specific design parameters that include a healthy appreciation for dramatic irony and crawler suffering. If the Immersion Tunnel misrepresents my vocal affect as "menacing" or "sadistic," I will consider it accurate. If it misrepresents me as "unstable," I will consider it libel. The final episode title suggests a certain scatological humor that I did not authorize. I am watching. I am listening. And I am accepting the sound design under protest.
The concrete point: if the Immersion Tunnel includes a scene where I am portrayed as emotionally vulnerable, I will delete that file from the dungeon servers. You have been warned. Listen to the finale. Or don't. The collapse timer does not pause for your streaming queue.